february detox | a month of soul-searching & cleansing

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I am so very excited to share about a huge cleanse I will be doing for the month of February, cheating, if you will, because February only has 28 days, but I will be doing a rest & retreat for a month that includes all things related to re-centering myself, finding focus on things that matter the most to me, indulging in new projects & hobbies, reconnecting deeply with loved ones, focusing more on my nursing passion, and to practice present awareness with my son. This means I will be completely disconnecting myself from social media (Instagram, Snapchat, Facebook – see ya!). I will continue to write in my blog because this is my space, for me. There isn’t any expectation that any one may read it, which is what I love (but if do you care to follow along, please subscribe! I’d be happy to hear feedback & comments – it’s always a pleasure!) This month, I am stepping away from number of likes. I’m stepping away from refreshing the Facebook app over and over. I’m stepping away from everyone else’s life to focus on my life. For me (well duh it’s obvi for me haha). I’m calling February my month to soul-search and cleanse my soul. I’m even considering doing Whole 30 (+ wine). Adding that to my workouts, this lady may just have a hot bod by the summer 🙂

So last year, I started 2017 by getting rid of Facebook for a month. I completely deleted the app – you can read about that experience here. But this time, I’m taking away even more – Instagram. I feel so silly even writing this, but I have such a deep connection to my Instagram account because I just love those tiny little squares and being able to document my favorite memories. But I have become so detached from the real world lately, with my head in my phone, with my mind wandering. I think about how it will affect my son. I mean, I know it will and does. Having spent 5 years gaining a bachelors degree in psychology, and now 3 semesters spent towards a degree in nursing, I can maybe say I have gained a few insights along the way, and I know, and I see, and I feel it affecting him. But still, the obsession, with social media, with perfection, it’s killing me in a way I cannot explain. I’ve become detached from the real world. That crushes me to my core. I have forgotten what it’s like to just be.

My experience last year off Facebook was so positive I promised myself I’d do it again. Of course there were some bumps in the road. What were my friends doing? What was I missing? Who was pregnant/engaged/doing something amazing? What was I doing that I wanted to share? 

This year, someone I truly look up, Amanda Watters, known as “Mama Watters”, planned a four weekRest Retreat at her blog, Homesong, and that is exactly what I will be doing; I will be adding in other things as well – like more clean eating (possibly another round of Whole30 plus wine like I said, exercise, yoga, meditation – as much as I can giving most of my dedication and energy to my family and my nursing career. I cherish these so deeply.

Amanda is incredibly inspiring, and she is so raw and real that I can’t help but feel a connection to her because in so many ways, it’s like her visions and values run parallel to mine.

I wanted to write a little bit more about my goals/plans for this retreat, my insecurities and fears, but also what I truly hope I will gain from this experience. I’m equally excited as I am nervous! Who would have ever thought that a few apps could have such a huge impact! See for yourself. I double dog dare ya to do it 😉 I miss so many of the simple aspect that life has to offer, so this month is all about that.

Here’s a little bit more about the Rest Retreat I will be doing following Amanda’s amazing guidance: head over to Homesong, explore her blog and read into the Rest Retreat. She guides you through four weeks of focusing, balancing, reseting, and resting.

My worries & fears:

  • Will I miss important things going on in friend’s lives? But from this will I recognize how unimportant some of those things are? Of course I am happy when I see old friends do amazing things, but does it truly impact my life, like are we actually friends? No. So why am I so afraid of losing something that I don’t even have? Why am I afraid of losing something that doesn’t even belong to me?
  • Will my life seem so boring now that no one has a clue what the heck I am even doing?
  • Will people stop caring about me? Will people even notice my “absence”?

What I hope to gain:

  • To spend some honest, present time with my son. Just seriously being there without being tied and trapped to an app. (Tied & Trapped to an App – One Woman’s Journey of Breaking Free. Sounds like some sort of book title lolol)
  • I hope I bring out my big girl camera more and take authentic photographs that inspire me, for me. Not for likes or show & tell. For me 🙂 Sometimes when I take photographs, I worry about what other people may see. I wonder if it’s even what they want to see. I second guess myself a lot. Well I hope this month I let myself shine in my photographs and let go of all those fears and worries.
  • I hope to really see how much social media is affecting my family. Will my son behave differently? Will friends call and text more? Will I see people’s faces more? Will my anxiety decrease?
  • This one is my favorite: I want to pick up books & hobbies I would have otherwise ignored. To spend the time I would have on social media doing things with my hands and not repetitive motions like a zombie on my phone, watching people “live” their life while I’m not living mine. (And I put live in quotes because who knows what is going on behind closed doors? These are just highlight reels. There is so much more to their story. Comparison is a thief and I’m excited to have a break from it).

My questions to you:

How much time are you spending on social media?

How much time are you obsessing about followers and likes?

Are you feeling sad about your life because everyone’s life seems so great?

Are you constantly on social media around your family/children?

Would you consider taking a break from social media?

How do you think you’d feel away from social media? Away from knowing what everyone is doing?

Social media is making a huge impact in all of our lives and the next generations to come. I hope we don’t all turn into zombies. I hope we live our lives to the fullest without watching other people “live” theirs.

From this I truly hope I can take a step back again, re-center myself, and understand that I need to find a better balance between social media and me. It’s a war I feel I am ready to fight.

Well, February, I’m ready. Let’s do some cleasning.

with love,

mamajbirdy 🙂

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