Like most of you, I want to be supermom. I want to do it all and have it all. But in reality, most days I’m tired, and most days I’m super pumped and proud of myself when I put a bra on.
But I want to be the perfect cook. I want my son to eat healthy. I want to be the perfect educator for him. I want to get straight As in my nursing clinicals. I want a clean house with continuously fresh linens. I want to be able to go out with friends. I want to take care of myself.
I want I want I want. And that’s all great. And that’s OK to want everything, why should we limit ourselves? But sometimes we set this unobtainable goal, and sometimes we have it in our minds that we have to be perfect. But we are perfectly imperfect, and I think if we give it our all, we can find a happy balance. And we will be supermom not because we did it all, but because we gave it our all. Mamas: we work hard and we deserve a happy life. So here’s a few tips to get you started.
- Balance + prioritize: major key to making this all work and tying everything together. I use a calendar I got from Michael’s and it has done me wonders. Not only does it have absolutely adorable stickers, but it really helps me plan my days and weeks and months. It helps me see the big picture, and to focus on what needs to be done at what times. But most importantly, it gives me the opportunity to push things back whenever I am feeling over loaded or overwhelmed. Every day I write down three important things I want to accomplish for the day and I focus on doing those. That way I feel good about myself, and also I can slowly get important things knocked out each week.
- Do a little day by day: I spend 20-30 minutes a day cleaning, about 30 minutes a day prepping or cooking food, and the rest goes to Owen and even more feels like it goes to school. I trg to clean when I can. I even clean when I’m showering, I mean it totally works. I have an all natural cleaner that doesn’t need to be rinsed, and it’s safe to use around me so I spray that baby all over the walls and wipe everything down while I’m showering. When you see something that needs to put it away, do it. Don’t set your stuff on the floor when you walk in the door. I forgot where I heard this from, but it’s called the one touch rule. If you set your jacket on the chair, you’ve touched it once. And then let’s say you moved it to the couch, that’s twice. And now you finally hang it up. You’ve just touched that item three times to get it where it needed to be. Everything needs to have a place so you can easily put it away. I balance school work by having a daily routine. Every night I dedicate 4 hours to my studies after I put Owen down to for the night. During the day I try to throw a load of laundry in, and the next day I try (and when I mean try, I really try) to put the clothes away. But I know it’s more important to get my work done before having the perfect house. Priorities. Also, having a glass a wine is up there too.
- Understand your limits: I think this is extremely important because we tend to push and push until we are burnt out and to the point of exhaustion. If you know when you’re feeling overwhelmed, you’ll be better able to handle stress and health. I can get overwhelmed pretty easily, so I usually know when it’s time to take a step back. Some nights I find myself straying away from studying, playing on my phone. That’s when I know I should just quit for the night. I think when we self assess and really focus on not hitting our max-out point, we can better go through the weeks being a healthier and happy mom. And in return, our children will really benefit from this.
- Stop multitasking: try to focus on the task at hand instead of doing a million things at once. I use to think it was better to get everything done half-assed than to get the job done really good. But I found that half assed jobs really don’t last, but focusing on one thing at a time really keeps me from having to do it again.
- Allow yourself to just be: as Buddah has said “what we think, we become”. Focus on present awareness, mediate, exercise, and put your phone away. Focus on just being in the moment. So you have to clean out the fridge? Try to just enjoy it and don’t feel like you belong somewhere else. Stop worrying about the future and focus on what’s going on around you at that moment in that time. Stop outside to smell the flowers and hear the birds chirp. Look around, the world is beautiful. You are not needed anywhere else. You are needed right here right now in this moment. Tune into it. Don’t see life as chore. Don’t plan everything because it’ll never happen. Set obtainable goals for the future and then let it go. If something is bothering you before bed, write it down and let it go. You are needed for sleep, not anywhere else. Do you get what I’m saying here? That you are needed in the present moment. Look up present awareness, it’s one of my most important goals. I want to be able to be in the moment, because right now, it kind of feels like my mind is always somewhere else. What can I do? What should I be doing? Sometimes I am even playing with my son but yet stressing in my head, when can I get a break to finish all that needs to be done? How far off from nap time am I? That sounds horrible, but that is just how my mind works. It’s a wheel spinning round and round and driving me nuts. You are not needed anywhere but right here right now. Keep reminding yourself of this.
I hope some of these tips help you 🙂 I’m not perfect and I’m still working towards a happier + healthier me, but that’s always going to be the case. It’s always been about the journey.
Hang in there mamas!
2 responses to “when you want to be super mom”
As always, you have so beautifully elocuted the struggles of trying to be all and do all for everyone! I think it’s hard wired in our genes to want to be all those things. Thanks for the tips! I’ve recently been practicing the present mindedness you spoke of, especially with summer and more time with O.
Another great tip! I just read about starting to use passwords that remind you of a mantra or goal, as we use them everyday! Words like open minded or serenity.
Aw, thanks Sarah! For reading and for always giving the best insight! That is such a good idea about the passwords! I’m glad us mamas stick together – I know I need it 🙂